I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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