So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
No subtext here. People are naked.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
