I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
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