Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
