You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize