hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
