I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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