i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i think my cat just said my name.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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