none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
