Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Is it because I queefed?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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