Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
