piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
