I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize