My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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