No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
