All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
