Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I came so hard my ears popped.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
