We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
