she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
