please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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