The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
