brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
