Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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