You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
