Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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