bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
