Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
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