I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
