Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Randomize
