I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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