Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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