i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
