now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
