I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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