Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize