I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
