"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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