Cold hands, warm shart.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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