You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
