He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Randomize
