I think I won the penis lottery.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize