please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
