Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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