Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She's the barista slut.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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