He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
