He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
