The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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