it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Your penis caused this!
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