I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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