how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
