My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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