mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
