My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I just made out with a guy for $7.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize