We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
