finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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