Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
It's shark week go big or go home
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
