I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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