white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize