Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
