I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
