you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
