Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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