I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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