that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
