I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
