Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
