that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
