just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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