True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
