My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
