the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
