She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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