We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize