barbara walters just said penis...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
