Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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