well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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