i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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