They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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