dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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