We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Well I just put wine in my tea
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
